see you later!

i refuse to say goodbye to all my friends who are leaving to college this weekend. near or far, we'll all eventually see eachother right?!?! well, of course college has been a hot topic these days.  three top questions im usually asked at school: "what do you plan to major in?" "where are you going?" "how are your classes?"  pretty understandable since i am surrounded by fellow seniors. today i made a good decision of running into the guidance office to ask about the ACT.  as soon as i walked in my councilor yelled, "JILLIAN! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU. SIT AND ILL CALL YOU IN." i first i was scared.. but then kind of glad.

so lets go off topic a bit. during priority processing i was put into statsap and was very worried about the teacher id have. it was likely that id get ms pham, i was just being optimistic thinking i might just get mr. matossian. wrong. ahs is slowly going down the drain. on the first day of school they printed all the schedules that morning without room numbers. fail. so basically all underclassmen was pushed out of school waiting for new schedules. then when seniors and juniors came, there was a sea of teenagers on 3rd street. anyways, yeah i got ms. pham. her thick vietnamese accent, complimented with a high pitched voice, bothers me in class.. so far we are sorta going in a fast pace. i need to catch up on some reading cause just trying makes me fall asleep.. so yeah i wanted to get into regular stats but since the leveling of all classes is just f*cked up, there was no anyone would see their councilors. so i left a note about trying to get into regular stats, although knowing my chances are slim. few days later, all i wanted to ask mr. jimenez was "would my D in trig affect me getting into college?" again, i couldnt see mr jimenez and had to leave another note.

so that brings us back to talking to him today. thank god i left 6th per earlier to go pee and just happen to notice the guidance office was completely empty. so yeah, went in was about to ask for some fee waivers and mr. jimenez yells at me. no more than 10 mins passed and i was sitting in front of him for like the.. 6th time. he started exaggerating saying how he got FIVE of my notes when i know i only wrote two.. but it was a very helpful visit. apparently he thought i TAed for the office so never freakin summoned me .. so we talked about stats and i already knew the answer; no space. both of the stats classes in 5th per are already full with 2 extra students, which is illegal. he said he would put me on the waiting list but it wasnt likely that i would happen.. i told him i understand with the chaos and what not and offered me another option: just drop stats as a whole. meaning no 4th year math and id have to beg mr levie to fit me in his 5th per digiphoto class. i admit, that sort of appealed to me but he did say that if i stuck it out, it would better my chances for college. i still have time to think about it.. but its likely that i will just work my ass off again. after talking about that, we talked about SAT and ACT. apparently the SAT deadline had been extended so im gonna try signing up for it tomorrow. the website is messed up right now and i cant even sign in to collegeboard. im gonna try the ACT in oct. now thats for sure cause i just registered. hooray for fee waivers.. i'll be taking it in calstatela so hooooopefully i wont get lost.

as for my major.. i have been getting a little more comfortable with it. having mr. tong as my english teacher helps me so much with college. im glad i have him, otherwise id be so damn lost.  because i have to do it for a grade, im obligated to research colleges with my major. and as of now my pretty solid choice would be film. its the only thing i think ill enjoy doing for the rest of my life. yeah im an amateur, but hopefully ill learn more in college. as for backup, just in case.. i might do psychology. cause that was the other only thing  i enjoyed learning. but yeah.
as for school... just trying to get by as usualllllllll... i have pretty okay classes. i only have 3 classes to worry about: english, amgov/econ, and of course statsap. i just wanna have fun at a dance or something..!! let fast forward to 2nd semester pleaseeeee?

summer summer so far

days have been filled with staying up til 2am and waking up at 12pm. perfect.

goodbye junior year.

first of all congratulations to the class of 2009! your years of high school are finally over.
today was the last day of my junior year, it was a good and sort of a sad day.
so i really did not want to go to school today for certain reasons but when my alarm rang at exactly 5:20am i was up. kinda strage how my body just wanted to go to school. so i got up and it felt like any other day. didnt have to carry a backpack cause there were no more books to carry. so i took a shower, grabbed my purse and went to school. the school was pretty empty and kinda chilly. so classes passed by really quick and before you know it, it was all over. i didnt take much pics with people cause i dont have many friends in my classes.. only tiffany and michael from physiology :P after school, emily lindsey and i went to smart and final to buy candy for leis and went to eat at baccali afterwards. im flatbroke after eating..after baccali they wanted yogurtland so we went there. then after that we went back to ahs to make posters while watching hes just not that into you in ms blais' room. around 3:30 i went home and tried to take a nap. before you know it emma was already here and the doorbell woke me up. then my dad dropped us off at elac and watched the ceremony. screaming for people was fun but who really knows if they heared us or not? we had two signs: one that said fantastic 5 and the other we love you carmen. after the ceremony, it was like a paparrazi was all over us when we were just taking pictures. im sorta glad we took so many just for some last good memories. it seems like the end but i will not let them drift away from me that easily. its 11:24pm and stupid facebook wont let me upload pictures -_-"

well turning into a senior ive realized some things today. i realized i have a small fear of meeting people .. which is not good. i mean its not like a phobia but its hard for me to just talk to someone and click. i think its because i set so many bad first impressions and so i try to approach them slowly, making sure i dont seem like a bitch. i guess thats why im losing a lot of seniors friends. throughout my 3 years in high school so far, ive stayed in my bubble. ive only had one core group of friends.. and my other friends, ive met through other friends. isnt that sad?! there are only so many people who i met because i just talked to them myself. i guess thats why im so scared of being alone next year. emily and i are cursed who never seem to get a freaking class together and if we dont get the same lunch, i am a complete loner. its hard for me to just join a random group. i always feel like im butting in and i just dont belong.. i feel like ive somewhat wasted the years where i couldve made a lot more friends.. well aside from realizing all of that, today was pretty fun. i wont say bye to my senior friends cause im not letting them go that easily.

family

okay so today i didnt go to school today because i became close friends with my toilet :D if you catch my drift.. well anways since i wasnt going to school i thought i can just stay home, relax and maybe catch up on some school work. wrong. after being able to sleep in my mother calls around 10ish and tells me my sister is coming over to do laundry... at that moment i was slightly annoyed. okay im gonna sound really evil and selfish in this blog but im just venting.. so i was laying in bed and she texted me. i was only expecting her and sophia to come over but i was wrong again. her husband ron was also coming. okay honestly, its not that i dont like them. its what they do that annoys the sh!t out of me. after reading her text i immediately told her to buy food cause theres nothing to eat here. another reason why my annoyance was slowllyyy building up. so they get here and just go straight to the washin machine. did i mention that theyre washing like a months worth of clothes? you should see it right now. im literally sitting next to a pile of folded clothes. so they bought kfc but i didnt want to eat much cause of my uneasy stomach. one good thing is that my sister washed our dishes and attempted to clean our stove but that was whatevers. eventually sophia falls asleep while theyre still doing laundry. my sister also decides to take a nap.. and takes up a whole couch. the longer one by the way, while im in my usual spot on the smaller couch sitting next to more and more clothes. later dad comes home and there obviously isnt a happy look on his face. usually hes more up beat when sophias here.. but not today. so dad goes straight to his room and does his usual routine: going on ebay. i walk in and lay on the bed and tell him im hungry and i havent eaten much cause im scared my stomach will go crazy again. but of course he makes up some lame excuse not to cook and tells me to wait for my mom.
*great now ron would like to use the laptop.. i will edit this later because there really is a point to this blog.
EDITED: so back again to finish this up. when my mom got home no one greeted her except me. the only thing my sister and ron were worrying about were their clothes. they wanted to move them immediately so they wouldnt smell like the food mom was cooking.. -_-" so after mom set up the pot to boil she went into her room and i followed. i was just laying on their bed and they just started talking. mom was saying how she had a meeting and their company might not be stable. eventually shes trying to hint to my dad that going to the philippines in dec is not a really good idea. my dads stupid and doesnt understand. they end up arguing and i just leave the room. i started my psych study guide and pretty soon it was time for dinner. because my dad is being an upset unreasonable jerk he refuses to eat so he goes outside and plays with his motor cycle. i kept calling mother to eat but she refused as well. after dinner i did my psych study guide again but still didnt finish. well whats the point of this blog hmm. its the excuse of family. because my sister is my sister and we share the same mother, its okay for her to go here do her laundry whenever she feels like and eat dinner. its okay for her to use our soap and give no contribution to this house hold. its okay for her just to go into this house even when no one is home because she has a key thats suppose to be for "emergencies."  its okay for her demand my password to my laptop OR go into my parents room and use their computer. i hate the fact that just because shes my sister she can do all these things. my mother doesnt do anything but work. but when my sister ron and sophia come over, they expect free washing machines and free food. on top of that, my dad is a jerk almost 24/7 and my brother is never gonna change. but thats all okay, because theyre family.